This was after a very long series of trial and error. I don't think I've ever watched quite that many tutorials for one fairly simple thing.
All of my difficulties stemmed from the fact that my hair is monstrously long. I'm bordering on dangerously Rapunzel. Don't ask me why I haven't cut my hair in nearly three years, I haven't a clue. All I know is that those tutorials were definitely not meshing with me.
From my frustration fuel came this modified sock bun with a braid wrapped base in order to accommodate all of that extra hair mass. My next goal is to figure out just how to jam all of this hair into a single bun. I will make it happen.
Until then, here's a quick tutorial: